NEW- 4/28/2005

...People let me tell ya 'bout my best friend...


Italian Prime Minister Sylvio Burlesconi's favorite way to quiet political opposition in parliament is to unleash a deluge of "Your mama so fat" jokes.


Kim learned the hard way that "Chicken Penis Inspector" wasn't the glamorous career the movies make it out to be.


Former Team Italy soccer coach Arrigo Sacchi shows up to Real Madrid's practice wearing a pink cardigan tied around his neck, illustrating the 472nd reason why professional soccer will never catch on in America.


Embattled U.N. Ambassador nominee John Bolton takes a moment to straighten his askew glasses, thinking to himself, "Whew. That was close. For a minute there I looked ridiculous."


As Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah leaned in for a passionate tongue kiss, President Bush regretted jokingly asking a few moments before, "Whose dick do I gotta suck to lower these oil prices?"