Originally posted 03/17/2004

Congressional leaders never tire of Bush’s dead-on drawing
of Senator John Kerry sucking a giant donkey penis.


John Kerry, in an effort to revitalize his campaign, had a
Botox needle surgically implanted in his right index finger.


Former President Bill Clinton reacted with disappointment
when he clicked on “Chat with LARGE AND LOVELY LADIES”
and was inadvertently routed to barely legal hot Asian teens.


David Letterman thought he’d mistakenly stumbled onto
the set of the new Dawn of the Dead movie before realizing
he was just being flashed by Courtney Love.


It wasn’t until they reached the 13 minute mark that Venezuelan soccer players Deportivo Tachira and Emerson Paniguitti realized their Post-goal embrace had turned into so much more.


John Kerry always found it hard to sit down without
first removing the large pole up his ass.