For those of you about to rock...

©Adam Greene 06/13/2005


"The fools. Don't they realize I'm from....THE FUTURE?!"


"I wonder how the zookeeper knew I was so cold..."


"So, uh... have you thought about doing any interning?"


"What do you mean Smokey and the Bandit 2 isn't the greatest movie ever made??"


Howard Dean knew that he alone had the funniest imaginary purple giraffe play pal in the entire world.


Every time Chad threw his Frisbee, he hated his dad just a little bit less.


"Next time", Sarah thought, "Maybe I'll try racing without the streamer of toilet paper hanging out of the back of my shorts."


"Dad, I haven't turned one and even I know this is all kinds of fucked up."


"And that is just a short list of the many reasons I, and people like me, enjoy burritos."


As the rest of the media present managed to film a hundred Iranian women protesting their lack of fundemental human rights in their country, San Francisco Chronicle "reporter" Sean Penn captured a flock of what he would later report were "pretty birdies".


As someone who loves celebrity autopsy photos, horse-on-girl pornography and writing Designing Women fan fic, Mr. Gore, I'd like to personally thank you for inventing the internet.



In the interest of science, Carmen Electra volunteered to have detailed photos taken of her vagina this week...