What Price Protest?
WHAT PRICE PROTEST? ©Adam Greene 2003
With the nation at war and the threat of a terrorist attack its highest since 9-11, anti-war protesters have decided to flood the streets. The Police, Emergency Responders and Firefighters will be happy to know that while they could be stopping bombs from blowing up school buses, airplanes and shopping malls, they’ll instead be standing in front of a police barricade as Tim, a theater major from NYU, shows his dad how much he hates him by screaming “NO WAR FOR OIL” into the back of a policeman’s head. Tim has been joined by his fellow NYU classmate Terri. Terri’s lifelong search for some sort of identity has led her here. Two years ago she got the butterfly tattoo. Last year she got her tongue pierced. This year she’s protesting.
People like Tim and Terri can find out about upcoming protests on many of the websites their college professor told them about through his giant, bushy, protest beard.
Sites like www.protest.net . Protest.net tells me that on May 20th I could protest the war if I wish. The location, according to the site, is “EVERWHERE”. I’ve never been to “Everwhere” and have no idea how to find it. It sounds like the name of some sort of inspirational fantasy epic. This only piques my curiosity. Is there a map to “Everwhere”? Can I drive my SUV there? Checking back with Protest.net a few days later, I see that “Everwhere” has been removed as a protest location. Possibly because of local Elf or Hobbit indifference and the sure lack of media coverage. Instead, Protest.net gives us the location of upcoming protests that will take place throughout the rest of the year. A year? We don’t even know who we’ll be at war with a year from now. How can I plan a protest if I have no idea what bizarre, convoluted conspiracy theory I’ll be using to defend my opposition? Way to drop the ball, Protest.net .
Disappointed, I go to Not in Our Name’s website (www.notinourname.net). I’m delighted to find this a key protesting resource. Now, while you’re covering yourself in red paint and burning a U.S. Flag, you can dress in one of Not In Our Name’s stylish “Protest Tees”. Baby doll and XX sizes available, and, thankfully for peace, all major credit cards are accepted. Get special discounts when you buy more than one! After you’ve purchased your T-shirt, sit back and enjoy Not In Our Name’s TV commercial, which they can get no major cable network to run. See a young girl in a turtleneck the size South Dakota telling you that “There is no positive outcome to this war”, a be-dreadlocked man speaking gibberish that sounds suspiciously like “yousha killja booboo bee”, a girl so upset and scared that she’s lost the ability to properly wear a hat, and more. There’s the greasy girl with herpes sores and a pierced bottom lip lamenting, “They don’t listen to us”. There’s the pot head in the fur Gilligan hat, taking just enough of a break from Grand Theft Auto Vice City to tell us that there are millions of people just like him.
You might say, “What can I do?” Funny you should ask, because there’s a click-able link on Not In Our Name’s home page that asks the same question. You can take up the “Million Globes Campaign” where “The Not in Our Name Project calls on everyone to display the image of the earth across the USA to show unity with people around the world who are suffering from the injustices done by our government in our name.” But where to get the image of the globe? Where could you find something like that? Hmm. Why, yes, at the online Not in Our Name store where you bought your “Protest Tee”, of course. I thank you. Peace thanks you and your Capital One Visa card thanks you. Allow at least three weeks for delivery.
If you’re a little low on cash at the moment, hate America and are completely insane, you can visit International A.N.S.W.E.R.’s website (http://www.internationalanswer.org/) and become a communist, terrorist sympathizer and learn to love convicted criminals between your lunch-time pornography downloads. Regime change? Sure, says International A.N.S.W.E.R., but not in Iraq. No, Saddam is okay with these guys, it’s George Bush who needs to be removed from office and replaced by, if the site’s member list is any indication, a Stalinist dictatorship run by Fidel Castro. In all fairness, a move like that would end the Iraqi war. Kudos to them for thinking it all out for us.
Poor and Sane? www.unitedforpeace.org might be for you. United For Peace has a dropdown interface where you can pick your state and see how you can get involved. By choosing my own state, Tennessee, I find that I can protest the war for a full hour and half this Saturday outside of West Town Mall in Knoxville. 11to 12:30. And that’s AM, people, so you know these protesters are serious. An hour and half is no kidding around. Now, an hour, sure, you could dismiss that. But an hour and a half? I dare you to ignore that. Unless, you know, you stop somewhere and eat lunch or get your car quick-lubed or something. But, still, an hour and a half on a Saturday. That, sir, is a commitment to peace.
If your objection to the war comes from no moral place, but solely from your intense hatred of Republicans, you and Michael Moore are not alone. That’s because Moveon.org (www.moveon.org) has indeed moved on. Where it once existed to combat Bill Clinton’s impeachment and removal from office, it has now found a new purpose. Moveon.org is against any and all military action ordered and supported by Republicans. Why worry about the hypocrisy of supporting or ignoring a Bill Clinton ordered strike on Iraq in 1998? He was a democrat and Moveon.org makes it clear that that’s okay. Moveon.org also lists and supports financially political candidates it feels agree with their principles. And, can you believe it? Each and every one is a democrat. On their Political Action Committee page, Moveon.org states that they are “committed to supporting candidates for Congress who are committed to acting in the broad interest of the American public.” Unless, of course, the public is interested in removing Saddam Hussein from power and disarming Iraq by a 3-1 margin. Then the broad interests of the American public are something to be completely ignored. Keep up the good fight, Moveon.org.
Whether you hate America, Republicans or just your dad, it’s nice to know as you’re being honked at, yelled at and flipped off by someone your “die in” is making late for work, that there will still be somewhere you can go where everyone knows your name and accepts and agrees with your beliefs. Of course, the name they know you by is “HOTDUDE69”, but still, that should count for something.
With the nation at war and the threat of a terrorist attack its highest since 9-11, anti-war protesters have decided to flood the streets. The Police, Emergency Responders and Firefighters will be happy to know that while they could be stopping bombs from blowing up school buses, airplanes and shopping malls, they’ll instead be standing in front of a police barricade as Tim, a theater major from NYU, shows his dad how much he hates him by screaming “NO WAR FOR OIL” into the back of a policeman’s head. Tim has been joined by his fellow NYU classmate Terri. Terri’s lifelong search for some sort of identity has led her here. Two years ago she got the butterfly tattoo. Last year she got her tongue pierced. This year she’s protesting.
People like Tim and Terri can find out about upcoming protests on many of the websites their college professor told them about through his giant, bushy, protest beard.
Sites like www.protest.net . Protest.net tells me that on May 20th I could protest the war if I wish. The location, according to the site, is “EVERWHERE”. I’ve never been to “Everwhere” and have no idea how to find it. It sounds like the name of some sort of inspirational fantasy epic. This only piques my curiosity. Is there a map to “Everwhere”? Can I drive my SUV there? Checking back with Protest.net a few days later, I see that “Everwhere” has been removed as a protest location. Possibly because of local Elf or Hobbit indifference and the sure lack of media coverage. Instead, Protest.net gives us the location of upcoming protests that will take place throughout the rest of the year. A year? We don’t even know who we’ll be at war with a year from now. How can I plan a protest if I have no idea what bizarre, convoluted conspiracy theory I’ll be using to defend my opposition? Way to drop the ball, Protest.net .
Disappointed, I go to Not in Our Name’s website (www.notinourname.net). I’m delighted to find this a key protesting resource. Now, while you’re covering yourself in red paint and burning a U.S. Flag, you can dress in one of Not In Our Name’s stylish “Protest Tees”. Baby doll and XX sizes available, and, thankfully for peace, all major credit cards are accepted. Get special discounts when you buy more than one! After you’ve purchased your T-shirt, sit back and enjoy Not In Our Name’s TV commercial, which they can get no major cable network to run. See a young girl in a turtleneck the size South Dakota telling you that “There is no positive outcome to this war”, a be-dreadlocked man speaking gibberish that sounds suspiciously like “yousha killja booboo bee”, a girl so upset and scared that she’s lost the ability to properly wear a hat, and more. There’s the greasy girl with herpes sores and a pierced bottom lip lamenting, “They don’t listen to us”. There’s the pot head in the fur Gilligan hat, taking just enough of a break from Grand Theft Auto Vice City to tell us that there are millions of people just like him.
You might say, “What can I do?” Funny you should ask, because there’s a click-able link on Not In Our Name’s home page that asks the same question. You can take up the “Million Globes Campaign” where “The Not in Our Name Project calls on everyone to display the image of the earth across the USA to show unity with people around the world who are suffering from the injustices done by our government in our name.” But where to get the image of the globe? Where could you find something like that? Hmm. Why, yes, at the online Not in Our Name store where you bought your “Protest Tee”, of course. I thank you. Peace thanks you and your Capital One Visa card thanks you. Allow at least three weeks for delivery.
If you’re a little low on cash at the moment, hate America and are completely insane, you can visit International A.N.S.W.E.R.’s website (http://www.internationalanswer.org/) and become a communist, terrorist sympathizer and learn to love convicted criminals between your lunch-time pornography downloads. Regime change? Sure, says International A.N.S.W.E.R., but not in Iraq. No, Saddam is okay with these guys, it’s George Bush who needs to be removed from office and replaced by, if the site’s member list is any indication, a Stalinist dictatorship run by Fidel Castro. In all fairness, a move like that would end the Iraqi war. Kudos to them for thinking it all out for us.
Poor and Sane? www.unitedforpeace.org might be for you. United For Peace has a dropdown interface where you can pick your state and see how you can get involved. By choosing my own state, Tennessee, I find that I can protest the war for a full hour and half this Saturday outside of West Town Mall in Knoxville. 11to 12:30. And that’s AM, people, so you know these protesters are serious. An hour and half is no kidding around. Now, an hour, sure, you could dismiss that. But an hour and a half? I dare you to ignore that. Unless, you know, you stop somewhere and eat lunch or get your car quick-lubed or something. But, still, an hour and a half on a Saturday. That, sir, is a commitment to peace.
If your objection to the war comes from no moral place, but solely from your intense hatred of Republicans, you and Michael Moore are not alone. That’s because Moveon.org (www.moveon.org) has indeed moved on. Where it once existed to combat Bill Clinton’s impeachment and removal from office, it has now found a new purpose. Moveon.org is against any and all military action ordered and supported by Republicans. Why worry about the hypocrisy of supporting or ignoring a Bill Clinton ordered strike on Iraq in 1998? He was a democrat and Moveon.org makes it clear that that’s okay. Moveon.org also lists and supports financially political candidates it feels agree with their principles. And, can you believe it? Each and every one is a democrat. On their Political Action Committee page, Moveon.org states that they are “committed to supporting candidates for Congress who are committed to acting in the broad interest of the American public.” Unless, of course, the public is interested in removing Saddam Hussein from power and disarming Iraq by a 3-1 margin. Then the broad interests of the American public are something to be completely ignored. Keep up the good fight, Moveon.org.
Whether you hate America, Republicans or just your dad, it’s nice to know as you’re being honked at, yelled at and flipped off by someone your “die in” is making late for work, that there will still be somewhere you can go where everyone knows your name and accepts and agrees with your beliefs. Of course, the name they know you by is “HOTDUDE69”, but still, that should count for something.
posted by AdamGreene @ 5:30 PM
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