Based on True Events

By Adam Greene

In my daily guise as a mild mannered sports reporter for the local newspaper, I have the rare opportunity to visit exotic locales like Newport, Tennessee. Newport is pretty much the “New Jersey” of eastern TN. Whether you’re looking to be serviced by a toothless hooker, watch a stripper with a hook hand dance around a metal folding chair, or be consumed by an exploding meth-lab’s fireball blasted out of the back door of a camper-topped ’79 Subaru Brat, Newport is the place to do it.

Newport is the biggest city in Cocke County. That’s right, the county of Cocke. Cocke County is named for one of the first two senators from Tennessee, William Cocke. So when you hear the phrase, “Man, that senator is such a fucking cock,” it could be that this is where it comes from.

But probably not.

If you’ve heard of Newport, it’s most likely because you enjoy the illicit sport of cockfighting. Yes, whether you are a hard core fan of the chicken bloodsport or just a weekend “cock-thusiast” like Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert, Newport, Tennessee was your preferred destination as it boasted the largest cockfight in the entire United States of America before it was busted up by the FBI last June.

Indeed, with our nation on high alert and at war with a cabal of international terrorists who continually try to infiltrate our country and kill our citizens, you’ll be happy to know that over 70 law enforcement vehicles (including three helicopters), at least four SWAT teams and dozens of FBI agents and Tennessee State Troopers swooped in to heroically put an end to the Newport Cockfight by arresting any man, woman or child on the property and killing all 300 roosters present.

That’s right. The FBI mobilized a multi-million dollar 200-man operation to put an end to a sport that was cruel to chickens. And then killed the chickens.

That is a whole other column. For now, though, let’s return to my original story. Specifically, that of the high school in Newport, Cocke County High.

Because of their community’s love and fame for this illicit activity, Cocke County High School took as its mascot, a rooster. Specifically the Cock. More specifically than that, the Fighting Cock. They are the Cocke County Fighting Cocks.

I know what you’re asking me right now.

“Adam,” you’re saying aloud to your computer monitor, “What color are the uniforms for the Cocke County Fighting Cocks? Indeed, Mr. Greene, what is the color of the Fighting Cock itself?”

My friends, the answer to both questions is the same, the color red.

As I drove to the Cocke County Fighting Cocks baseball field one Monday afternoon, I passed their football stadium. Painted in large, brazen letters on the side of the stadium was the phrase, “GO BIG RED!”

I will come back to this in a moment, true believers, as this tale has only just begun.

The Cocke County Fighting Cocks were being visited by conference rival Morristown West High School.

“What’s West High’s mascot?” you ask, again feeling comfortable enough to verbalize your question at your computer desk.

“What could represent West High’s strength, durability, and inability to break under intense pressure?”

What else, good reader, but the Trojan?

They are the Morristown West High Trojans.

The Trojans were playing with the Big Red Fighting Cocks from Cocke County.

And I had to write about it.

The Trojans, as they always do when fighting the Cocks, won. Their bats stifled, their balls sagging harmlessly to the ground and with all big shots caught and contained, the Big Red Cocks could not penetrate the Trojans’ layer of defensive protection. The Cocks fought hard while they could, but the game ended as it often did…with the Cocks peaking far too early in the action. The Cocks were quickly spent and flaccidly flopped and waggled their way to the end of the game before rolling over in impotent unsatisfied shame.

The Trojans had held firm once again. They let nothing get past them. No matter what type of pressure they faced, they did not let the Cocks come through.

My article for the paper mentioned none of this.

Writing it almost cost me my life.